Thursday, July 5, 2012

A Size Too Small

Leslie showed the apartment that I would be living in for the next year. She was friendly and assured me I would be happy at Barton Farms. However, the apartment I was given and the apartment I was promised turned out to be two different sizes. I ended up in the smaller aparrment BOO! (don't ask I really don't understand it myself!) I wanted the bigger apartment with more space so  I could put more decorations (stuff) up and satisfy my desire for my own 'home.' True to form what I got wasn't what I signed up for. (come one folks, when is it ever!) I have learned over these past 12 months that I haven't been getting what I want. It has been a big(massive, huge, behemoth, ginormous,larger-than-life) heaping serving of what I need. These are two very different entities. 
When I take a step back I now can see what I want and what I needed are worlds apart. What I wanted was a place to call home, but I found is home. I met friends who I now consider family. People that had my back at 2 am when the chips were down. These are the people that I have laughed with, cried with, and shared my life with. People I love. Now I am looking at my 'home' as it takes on a new form. It is slowly coming apart piece by piece.(Geeze-a-Lou how does 1 person acquire so much "stuff?"!)  What I'm doing is  packing up all of the good experiences and learning from my mistakes. I thank the Lord everyday for all he has given me. I believe it is his will for me to move to Chicago and start a new life. Packing up is never easy to do. I would be lying if I said i'm not trying to type through blurry tear filled eyes. I could write for days (lifetimes) about all of my memories and experiences over the past year. Memories that make me mad, make me cry, make me laugh, and smile. These are all memories and people that I will never forget. From all of my experiences and lifelong friends at Indiana School For the Deaf to dinners with my (old) neighbors. Every single person that I have met this past year has changed my life in someway. In these past twelve months I have made new friends, reconnected with old  ones, and walked away from a few. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. I heard that growing up all of the time in that little Pentecostal church. (We will get to Heaven if we don't roll right past it! Can I get an AMEN?
So my little apartment that couldn't fit my couch and love seat.*eye roll* turned about to be the size just right to fit a lifetime of love and laughter inside. There is a Broadway music called Wicked. Many of you know it, many of you don't.It is the rest of the story from the Wizard of Oz. Side note: Did the flying monkies give anyone else the heebie-jeebies?! Yes? No? Yes but you would never admit it?! Any takers?!  There are few
  lines (it's not word for word. I am paraphrasing. Vocab word! ) that sum up how I feel about my little apartment, and everyone this past year. 

I've heard it said that people come Into our lives For a reason Bringing something We must learn.And we are led To those who help us Most to grow, If we let them, And we help them in return.... It well may be That we will never meet again In this lifetime, So let me say before we part So much of me Is made of what I learned from you You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine By being my friend....Who can say if I've been Changed for the better? I do believe I have been Changed for the better. Because I knew you I have been changed for good...

1 comment:

Jordan B said...

Hello Stephanie. So this was written today. I'm the first to comment and yes I feel special. I must say that you are very good at blogging. It is definitely you! Very entertaining and hilarious. This blog in particular is deep and shows you put much heart in it. Loves it :) Good luck with Chicago. I know your excited, and wish you the best of luck with everything!