Thursday, November 29, 2012

Dylan & Eric

Last night I went to a play produced by my fellow Columbia students! So much talent at this school. There was not a dry eye to be found. The play was so shocking and enlightening. It took my breath away. The play was about the events leading up to the Columbine massacre. Not something that is fun or light hearted, but life ain't always that way! This play was written using first hand accounts eye witness accounts, home videos from the boys, and interviews with family and friends.

I didn't sleep much last night. My mind raced with a million questions, and my heart ached for those that were forever changed.The first thought I had was how thankful I am that something like that never happened to me when I was in school. Selfish, I know, but I can't wrap my head around it. I was also thinking about all my nieces/nephews/nanny kids/other honorary nieces and nephews I have that attend school. My heart dropped even lower. These boys were so young and so full of evil. How could two young boys be enraged with that much hate at such a young age?

Another thought that has been twirling around in my little head, is how am I treating people? I am at a school that I really don't have much in common with outside of my ASL crew. (This school is so open minded to drugs, sexual experimentation, and anything that helps with the "creative process." Ugh.) So this is a charge to myself. I need to pray for my fellow students. I need to make sure to smile and be a source of light. Some of the kids I have met here have had a r.o.u.g.h. road. Life hasn't always been kind. I am the first to say we are responsible for our own choices, and I will stand by that. However, sometimes just hearing stories about some of their lives breaks my heart. So as a Christian I need to show love not pass judgement. We had a kid on the 8th floor a few weeks ago kill himself. he put his car on the train tracks. Come on!!!!!!!!!!

The other little thought nugget I have been chewing on his how do is God in any of this mess? Seeing the actors in their black trench coats made my stomach turn. The hair on the back on my neck stood at attention when I saw the photo from the actual event.  How do you move on from that? How do you find the courage to walk down a hallway again? How do the parents of the shooters ever heal? The answer is it must be a very long road. A road that is lonely and seemingly desolate. But I believe that the Light will always cancel out any darkness. I do believe that God has worked this evil situation out for his good.

Cassie Bernall was a victim of the shooting. She was asked if she believed in God and said yes. That was it. She was shot and killed instantly. Some people dispute this fact. Some say it wasn't her, but someone she was next to. WOW. This girl was 17 years old! (which ever one it was.) She was in the middle of the one of the worst situations a person could ever be in and she still said yes. I don't even know if I could do anything other than pee my pants in a situation like that. Let alone be brave enough to say yes, yes I believe. So my spirit isn't as restless as it was last night. There is evil among us everyday, yes! The battle is not of flesh and blood but of the spirit. It's on TV everyday. A person can't watch the news without seeing some sort of bad story about someone killing someone, or some other senseless act of violence that ends in bloodshed. However, I refuse to let that be the last word. The battle as already been won. This was just on my heart. Amazing how a two hour play could resonate so deeply into my soul and help to shake me. It's easy to feel world weary and jaded living in place like this. So I ask all of you to pray for me that I am a light up here. Also, pray for the people at your work place, your children's schools, people you encounter everyday.

Keep praying for Ben, Brenday & Family! It's a been a long road for all of them. He is doing so well despite this crazy road he has been on. It's not all for not! God is good all of the time, and all of the time God is good! :)

1 comment:

Aaron and Jill said...

Great thoughts, Steph!!